How to Build a Positive Attitude ( Part II )

6. Reframe negative moments as positive ones. Look over your list of negative moments. Spend time

reframing these moments in a way where you can get positive (or at least neutral) emotions out of these

For example, if you experienced road rage on your drive home, reframe the other driver’s

intentions as making an honest mistake. If you felt embarrassed about something that happened during the

day, think about how it was actually a silly or laughable situation. Even if your boss was upset about having

coffee spilled on him, mistakes happen from time to time. With any luck, maybe your boss will see the humor

in it also.
If you don’t treat smaller mistakes as life-altering experiences, you will be able to handle situations

better. One way to handle the coffee situation is to express your genuine concern that your boss is first and

foremost okay and that you didn’t burn him. Next, you can offer to go buy him another shirt on your lunch hour,

or offer to dry clean the stained one.


7. Draw on your “happiness reserves.
” Enhanced coping skills lead to increased positive emotions over time.

The benefits you receive from experiencing positive emotions are durable; they last far longer than the amount

of time you experience happiness. These “happiness reserves” can then be drawn on in later moments and

different emotional states. 
Don’t worry if you think you’re having trouble building positive emotional experiences.

You can also use the memories you already have to build your “happiness reserves.”

8. Remember that everyone experiences life issues.
 It’s important to remember that everyone goes

through both little and huge life issues, so you’re not alone. Reframing your extreme reactions does take

practice, and time to adjust and accept, but with practice, it is possible that you can let go of little things,

and be able to look at the larger issues with a level head and see them as opportunities to learn.

9. Tame your inner critic. Your “inner critic” can hurt your progress in building a positive attitude. For example,

if your inner critic called you a dummy for spilling coffee on your boss, you have an inner critic who puts you

down all the time and is nasty to you. Reflecting on the times your inner critic says things like this will help you

gain more insight into the times and situations your inner critic comes out. 
Also, reflecting on this will help you

challenge the inner critic and other negative ways of thinking, which is an important part of building a positive


Method 3 : Taking Time for Yourself

1. Do things you enjoy. Take time for yourself by doing things you enjoy or that make you happy. It can be

hard to take time for yourself, especially if you’re someone who tends to put other people first. It might also be

challenging if you have a life situation such as having small children at home or taking care of someone who is

ill. But always remember to “secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” You are the best caretaker

when you are your best self. 
If music makes you happy, listen to music. If reading books makes you happy,

take a little time to read in a calm environment. Go look at a beautiful view, take yourself to a museum, or

watch a movie that you enjoy. 
Staying active doing the things that bring you pleasure is a great way to focus

on the positive. 

2. Take time to think about moments of satisfaction. No one else is watching or judging your review of your

day and yourself, so there’s no need to worry about seeming arrogant. You don’t have to be good at something

or please others in order to enjoy it. 
If you’re good at cooking, admit to yourself that you’re a talented cook.

Likewise, you don’t need to be able to charm woodland creatures in order to enjoy singing. 
Observing moments

of satisfaction, pride, contentment or joy in your life and the activities that cause them is a good way to make

sure you can repeat them again in the future.

3. Worry less about others. You are not like other people, so there’s little reason to judge yourself based on

other people’s standards. You may enjoy things that other people don’t enjoy, and you are certainly “allowed”

to define for yourself what success means for your life.

4. Avoid comparing yourself to other people. Your view of yourself is very different from your view of other

people, just as viewing a Monet painting from one foot away is very different from viewing it from twenty feet

away. Realize that the image of someone else that you see may be a contrived image that he or she strives

to project. This image may only partially reflect reality. Let go of measuring yourself against other people and

basing your self-worth on other people’s opinions. This will help you make less subjective inferences about

other people’s behavior. 
For example, if you have a negative interaction with a casual acquaintance, don’t

assume that they don’t like you. Rather, assume that there was a miscommunication between the two of you,

or that something else is frustrating your acquaintance.

Method 4 of 5: Cultivating Relationships

1. Maintain healthy relationships. Relationships are an important part of the human experience, even if you

classify yourself as an “introvert,” or someone who recharges by being alone and doesn’t feel the need for a

large number of friends. Friendships and relationships are a source of support, validation and strength, for all

genders and personalities. Maintain the healthy relationships in your life with family members and friends.

Research demonstrates that your mood can immediately improve after having a conversation with someone

you care about, and receive a supportive response from them. 

2. Form new relationships. As you meet new people, identify the ones who make you feel good to be around.

Cultivate relationships with them. These people will add to your support network and help you continue building

a positive attitude. 

3. Talk about your emotions with a friend.
 If you find yourself having difficulty creating positive emotional

experiences on your own, turn to a friend for support. You shouldn’t feel like you have to bury any negative

emotions you might experience. Instead, you might find that talking them through with a friend helps you

resolve them and make room for happier emotions. 

4. Put a positive spin on a stressful circumstance.
 Positively reappraising a stressful circumstance means

taking that situation and putting a new spin on it. 
For example, if you have a daunting to-do list, rather than

looking at your list and saying, “There’s no way I can get all of this done,” try saying, “I can accomplish most

of this.”

5. Try problem-focused coping.
 Problem-focused coping is where you focus on the problem that is causing

you stress and work out its solution. Break down the problem into steps that will allow you to accomplish it.

Identify potential hurdles or stumbling blocks and decide how you will deal with them as they arise. 
For instance,

if you are having trouble getting a team of coworkers to work well together, sit down first and analyze the

situation. Identify the types of situations going on. Then brainstorm and write down possible solutions for

these problems. 
For example, Jeff doesn’t like Sally, or the company doesn’t encourage teamwork and

instead rewards the efforts 
of the individual. Using problem-focused coping, you should assert that, while

Jeff and Sally are allowed to not like 
each other, a standard of professional conduct is expected and reinforce

those standards. Then do a group exercise 
where everyone says three positive things about each other.

 In connecting team members and completing projects with resounding success, your team can serve as

an example to help change the culture in your company.

6. Find positive meaning in ordinary events. Another way people experience positive emotions in the face

of adversity is by finding positive meaning in ordinary events and within the adversity itself. 
Remember that as

you practice putting a positive spin on a negative situation, it will come more naturally. This will make it easier

to have a positive attitude no matter what happens. In turn, you will find it easier to put positive spins on

negative situations, making your whole life happier and more enjoyable.


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